MY MUSE

The only other person besides God, that knows me better than myself.

My Mommy.
I Love you so much. I had so much fun with you this past weekend.
All we did was eat, sleep, and watch movies.
Just talking, reminiscing, and laughing meant so much to me.
I’am the way I am, because of you.
Your Love, Your Values, your genuine spirit, have shaped me into the women that I’am now. When people see me, they see you. I’am your reflection., and it’s Beautiful.
If God would have givin me a choice for a mother. It would have been you. I LOVE YOU.
Most parents are proud of their children. I can say I’m proud of you.

LOVE YOU Mommie

A Note to My Friends

I dont know how to express the Love I feel in my heart for you all. You proved to me just how much you Loved me Saturday Night.
I LOVE YOU with all my heart. Thanks for making my Pre-Birthday Celebration the most memorable one ever. The planning and thought that went into it was Priceless. I can NEVER repay you guys for what you did for me. I appreciate it very much.
When "we" were born God had a plan for us, and that was for all of us to meet.
I thank God for choosing you guys to be friends in my life. I dont care what noone else says about their friends. You guys are the Best, your the most Beautiful people in the world. I cannot imagine my life without you. We come together in Love, we challenge each other, we agree to disagree. I Love the fact that when we do disagree we can all talk about it and get past it. When I blew out my candles and made a wish. My wish was the have you guys as friends forever.

Your Smile, Made My Day
Your Kindness Made My Week
Your Love Made My Year
But your Friendship made my life



LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!

MY BFF Ramona....

Today was a little somber for me. I just found out about a month ago that my Best Friend since 9th grade is moving way on the other side of the earth.
She's moving to L.A., Time sure has moved quickly. She's off on Wednesday. I think this will be a good opportunity for her. To start over and start a new life.

I went over today to help her pack some things, and she got to a box where all of our memories were in. Pictures, letters,and cards. We looked and laughed at our memories,I remember the time when I 1st met her in 9th grade, she was the new girl in school and other girls where jealous of her because she had big boobs...lol
I thought she was the sweetest soul (besides my grandmother), I had ever met.

I remember all the times we went to Miami, year after year, it was tradition.
Seemed like our lights would get cut off the same week we would go to Miami, we didn't care, we would take care of it when we got back, WE had to remain faithful and go to MIAMI....lol

I remember the time we drove home to North Carolina together and had 2 flat tires.
We rode for 5 hours on a donut and then another tire blew. LOL

I also remember a time we were driving back from NC to Georgia and we got off on the wrong exit and it was 1 lonely old gas station, and the whole street was pitch black,it felt like something out to the twilight zone. It felt weird when we drove in and we both agreed this doesn't look right...LOL
They had the old gas pumps the ones where the numbers roll in a circle as your pumping.
We needed gas but both were afraid to get out. So Ramona talked me into getting out to go pay for it, we looked and out of nowhere the parking lights from a car came on. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, but I walked in the store and there was a lady just sitting there at the counter and she had glasses with her hair pulled back, she looked like a witch, she didn't say anything and just staired at me.
I immediately ran out the store, and jumped in the car.
I didn't have to say a word, Ramona hit the gas and pilled out.
All of a sudden this BIG DOG, (it had to be a Mastif), came out of nowhere and jumped on the car. It was the craziest thing we had ever seen.
We can laugh about it now, but we were really scared. It was irry.



Man there are so many memories that I have about my best friend.
She has been the epitome of what a true friend should be. I always liked her because she never talked bad about anyone. She wasn't the type to gossip or get in every ones business. She didn't pre judge she is just a genuine person. She listened, she cared, she was just always there, and I cant see my life without her.
I think what I'm going to miss most is her calling me up and saying, You want to go eat? Or what are you doing? You want to hang out.
That may seem simple to someone else but that meant the world to me.
I guess I shouldn't think about it as the end,but things will surely be different.



I Love You Ramona
Gonna miss you my sister. MY BFF For Life =)

My Choice?...........Forgiveness.........

These past couple of months as I have been approaching my 35th Birthday. 20 days and counting.... =)

I've been thinking about my life, and the things that I've gone through, the hurts, the anger, the happy times, the sad times, just everything that I've gone through up until now.

I've been reading a book that my Grandmother had, its a book about hurt and anger, and how to over come it.

I read a sentence that really caught my attention.
It said..

"Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of ceasing to feel resentment"


I was talking to a friend the other day, someone from my past. Someone that TRULY, TRULY hurt me.
It has been almost 3 years since me and this person have parted ways with one another,they have moved on with their life, and live in another state.
From time to time me and this person still talk.
Its cool now because just last year, I could never stay on the phone long enough to even say a few words because I was STILL angry. Them calling me and just saying "what's up?" would turn into a bitter argument, but now we can actually hold pretty decent conversations with each other.


The other day when I was talking to them, they said to me "Wow Mia the last few times I've talked to you, you havent gotten smart"....I replied.... "It's because I forgive you"

You see everytime, me and this person would have conversations in the past, they would say something, just something in general and it would trigger a hurt they had done to me. I would say somthing smart back, but in joking manor, all the time I'm telling myself. I was over the situation, but I really wasnt because I was still talking about it, I was still bringing it up?

The person would come back with a sincer "I'm sorry Mia, I'm sorry I hurt you".

In them saying this, I felt that wasnt enough for me. I often asked myself what more do I want?, the person said they were sorry.
What's done is done, its the past, its over, move on, but I was looking for more, but what more did I want?

I sat back and thought about it, and what I wanted was vengence, I wanted this person to hurt the same way they had hurt me. I guess if I showed them that I was angry enough, they could feel what I felt.
But you know what?, it doesnt work that way. The other person is not me. They didnt feel the same way I felt about them, and I couldnt' make them.

What I was doing was giving the resentment power. It leeched on to my hurt, and it was feeding itself and turning into anger, and what i've realized is. I cant change situations I have no control over, but I can change the way I let them affect me.

Resentment wasn't hurting the other person, it was only hurting me,

Choose to cease it, choose to let go. Choose Forgiveness.

LIFE AS I HAVE KNOWN IT........

You know, I honestly never knew what blogging was, I had heard of it but never quite understood the meaning and what you were supposed to do, then just recently I found out that I've been "blogging" for most of my life in my Diary, and never knew it. Blogging is just sharing your views and thoughts publicly.

Shouts out to David Oliver for giving me the go ahead to start blogging.. Your stories, and travels are truly an inspiration. Thanks D.O. ; )


Ok

Now on to the reason why I felt compelled to share this, MY FIRST BLOG POST..YAY!!


Ok
I have so many thoughts and feelings about the Historical Election that took place last evening, but I will try to keep it brief. I have the tendency to go on and on and on......lol


On my way home from work today. I looked at my gas needle and realized that I needed gas. I kept telling myself "I can make it to the BP station closer to my house. The needle isnt on the"E" yet so, I'm good"
I had passed by 2 gas stations, and I looked at the needle again, and the gas light was flashing. I looked and ignored it. I had no intentions of stopping before making it to the expressway.
Well as I'm getting off the exit to my house. My check engine light comes on and my car starts to stop..... Yep, I had ran out of gas...
Fortunately I was able to gliiiide over to the shoulder so other cars could pass. lol.

I immediately called my co-worker to see exactly where she was because we both go the same way to get home.
Thank God she hadnt already passed me, I told her I ran out of gas, she laughed, and said she would be there shortly to pick me up and take me to the gas station.
Once I hung up with her.
I got out of my car and went to the back and sat on my trunk. As I'm sitting there. A women pulls up and asks ,am I ok? I tell her that my co-worker is on her way, I'm fine and thanks. So she pulls off and after that another car pulls up, and asks the same question.

So I repeat myself and they pull off.
A minute later. Another car, and another and another. I find that i'm repeating myself until I actually lose count of how many times I'm saying the same thing over and over again. The thing of it is. Most of the people that were stopping were "White", I say that to say this. Their mood, their attitudes were of compassion, and it wasnt fake. It was like I saw a spark in their eyes, they were truly trying to help me an African American Sister, and they didnt care what i looked like, or what color i was. I felt a warm feeling come over me.

Now this is not the 1st time, I have ran out of gas. This will be the 3rd time and counting.
I have a tendency of saying. "I know my gas tank, and I'll make it"... Um...Obviously I dont know it, if I've ran out 3 times.

Previously I have ran out of gas in a public area were thousands of cars have passed, and have probably had 1 or 2 people ask if I was ok, but never to the point where I lost count.

I dont know maybe I'm over reacting about this, but it's like I feel like we are about to get AMERICA back. We are uniting the way we are suppose to. Everyone is going to start looking out for each other. It doesn't matter who you are, what color you are, what your religion is, your life style, or how much money you make.
I know we will be.

"ONE NATION. UNDER GOD, INDIVIDUALS WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL"

In the past couple of years America has seemed to be "losing it". We have lost our power,lost our unity, other nations despise us,the Euro is worth more than the dollar, Our health care for the elderly sucks, we are losing jobs to outsourcing over seas, we are fighting a senseless war and losing hundreds of lives and billions of dollars every month.

I had honestly given up hope that we would get America back, but now it's just an overwhelming surreal feeling. I know the meaning of PROUD to be an american.
It still hasn't registered with me that OUR SOON TO BE PRESIDENT.... THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA....... IS BLACK.....
Words, cannot even begin to describe how I'm feeling. I was at work physically today but my mind was not there. I would have moments of where I would just sit and think. I went online and listened to a few of MLK's speeches and was at my desk in tears.

His dream has been spoken into existence. I looked at a clip online of Jessie Jackson and the tears that ran down his face, at the moment he found out Obama had won, I could feel his joy, his anxiety, and his struggle.


A few months ago, yes Jesse was caught on tape saying he wanted to "Cut Obama's balls off"

No matter what his thoughts of Obama "were" in the past, I believe at that moment, he really reflected back on all the times him and Martin Luther were spit on, hosed down, hit with rocks, beaten and kicked, their lives threatened and God knows what ever else.
Jesse had to have been proud. Proud of the struggles him and others went through, proud to be a Black Man, proud to be an American, proud to see another Black Man make it to what he and others fought so hard for....

Today I sat and thought about the passage that Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence

"WITH THESE TRUTHS. IT IS SELF EVIDENT THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL",

WOW!! what a powerful statement.
If we ever had any doubt about this passage.
It slapped us right in the face last night..........
NOVEMBER 4, 2008 at 11:00 PM EST., when Black PRESIDENTIAL ELECT...
"BARACK HUSSIEN OBAMA" was chosen to be the next leader of this nation
.
Can you believe that 63% of White Americans voted for him? That's a huge margin. I admit I have been ignorant in the past,and NEVER again will I think they dont care nothing about us. Somebody is out there caring, and "WE" wouldnt of been able to do it by ourselves.

CAN YALL BELIEVE IT?!!!!! There is a Black man that will be leading this country come January 20, 2009.
The Highest Honor one could possibly have in this world.
To me this man is NEXT to Jesus ,do yall hear me?

I'M HYPED!!!!!!!! I WANNA SCREAM, I WANNA HOLLAR!!!!

THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS A BLACK MAN!!!!..........

OUR PRESIDENT IS A BLACK MAN!!!! YALL!!!


My Life as I have known it, is Forever Changed.