My Choice?...........Forgiveness.........

These past couple of months as I have been approaching my 35th Birthday. 20 days and counting.... =)

I've been thinking about my life, and the things that I've gone through, the hurts, the anger, the happy times, the sad times, just everything that I've gone through up until now.

I've been reading a book that my Grandmother had, its a book about hurt and anger, and how to over come it.

I read a sentence that really caught my attention.
It said..

"Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of ceasing to feel resentment"


I was talking to a friend the other day, someone from my past. Someone that TRULY, TRULY hurt me.
It has been almost 3 years since me and this person have parted ways with one another,they have moved on with their life, and live in another state.
From time to time me and this person still talk.
Its cool now because just last year, I could never stay on the phone long enough to even say a few words because I was STILL angry. Them calling me and just saying "what's up?" would turn into a bitter argument, but now we can actually hold pretty decent conversations with each other.


The other day when I was talking to them, they said to me "Wow Mia the last few times I've talked to you, you havent gotten smart"....I replied.... "It's because I forgive you"

You see everytime, me and this person would have conversations in the past, they would say something, just something in general and it would trigger a hurt they had done to me. I would say somthing smart back, but in joking manor, all the time I'm telling myself. I was over the situation, but I really wasnt because I was still talking about it, I was still bringing it up?

The person would come back with a sincer "I'm sorry Mia, I'm sorry I hurt you".

In them saying this, I felt that wasnt enough for me. I often asked myself what more do I want?, the person said they were sorry.
What's done is done, its the past, its over, move on, but I was looking for more, but what more did I want?

I sat back and thought about it, and what I wanted was vengence, I wanted this person to hurt the same way they had hurt me. I guess if I showed them that I was angry enough, they could feel what I felt.
But you know what?, it doesnt work that way. The other person is not me. They didnt feel the same way I felt about them, and I couldnt' make them.

What I was doing was giving the resentment power. It leeched on to my hurt, and it was feeding itself and turning into anger, and what i've realized is. I cant change situations I have no control over, but I can change the way I let them affect me.

Resentment wasn't hurting the other person, it was only hurting me,

Choose to cease it, choose to let go. Choose Forgiveness.